Behave, or not to...
Updated: Apr 5, 2018
Your Behaviour is a product of how you think, what feelings you associate with your thoughts and what body language both acquire. The Expression of all this are your actions or your choices (which include how you act - Behaviour - and why you do that - Motives).
How people receive it can be considered as Feedback. They will interpret your Behaviour as per their Life Experience. And there is no right or wrong here, except when you actually hurt someone. We are all human, make 'mistakes' and draw our Learnings from each mistake (if we allow ourselves to).
So how does one decide which Behaviour is good or bad? Or how we 'should' behave. Finding a 'good-fit-for-all' is like looking for a shoe that fits all sizes. Behaviours fit for one situation are hazardous for another. For instance, you can dance on a dance floor but not on a ridge. You can use a stick to throw a snake out of your way, but not to 'shoo' a puppy away.
In Relationships, it becomes slightly more complicated, since human beings bring in their interpretation, depending upon their upbringing, experiences and personal values. Your behaviour with one person is not a good fit for another person. Example - you may share a joke with your friend when he is feeling down but not with your boss - he may receive and interpret it as disrespect. Which is where we start labeling people as 'Insensitive' or 'antisocial', depending upon what we see in them, want from them or what they deliver or not deliver.
Is that a problem? Perhaps.
Particularly when you already know that answer, see a situation for what it is...but DONT respond to it or acknowledge it, since you are so ingrained in your 'old' way of dealing with things.
When people are a part and parcel of the Unknown, the Unchartered Territory...new work environments, new work partnerships, new personal relationships like marraige...you cannot afford to deal with them the way you always have.
Even, dealing with the old and familiar does not require dealing with them in the 'Old Way'. After all, we all grow up and grow out of things!
So what do you do...when living on auto-pilot is a neuro-biological phenomenon within us?
Keep it simple. Choose. Switch off your Auto-pilot (the Primitive and the Habitual Brain Centres)...switch on your Curiousity, Observation and Questioning (your Higher Thinking Centres)...and ask yourself 'What's going on'? Ask other questions, if you need to. But dont come up with answers yourself!
After all, Asking is not a 'Threat' to your Identity or Survival. Just a 'New' and 'Different' way of Being....and another way to Give and Receive.